B.a.Dops: Wal-Mart - Part Dos

* Begin Scene *


* B.a.D and P.c.P hopped in the B.a.Dcar and headed for the nearest Wal-Mart. It seemed as good a place to start as any. Find the store manager, get the information out of him, and find out why they we're trying to destroy the Canada's economy. *

Let's just sit tight and try not to look suspicious. Mizzle and our informant should be B.a.Dradioing us of where the store manager is hiding any second now.

Oh, before we go in, there's something I meant to tell you. After you left at the end of last season, I sold all that grandma furniture that you stuck in my room so I could buy cooler stuff. But I kept one rug.

What does that have to do with anything?

Well, if we have to kill anyone, I figured the old rug might come in handy for disposing of a body.

We're not going to kill anyone, dude. We're here to find out why they want to destroy the Canadian economy, and put a stop to it.

Well, if the situation comes up, I don't want to compound the problem by using my good towels.

* Suddenly, they are radioed by the B.a.Dcave and told by their informant who used to work at Wal-Mart of where the manager is hiding in the store. They kick the door open to the office, and B.a.D B.a.Dpistolwhips the store manager while P.c.P B.a.Dlocks the door. *

I want answers, and you're going to give them to me. Why is Wal-Mart trying to destroy the Canadian economy?

Wal-Mart Store Manager: I'm stupid! I don't know anything!

Ha. Is this one of those Wal-Mart manager schmucks who thinks he has a real job?

I don't hear you giving me answers.

Wal-Mart Store Manager: I really am stupid! I swear! I'm legally retarded in some provinces! Please, for the love of God, believe me!

Want me to punch him in the stomach a couple times?

Nah. Cut off his hands with the B.a.Dblade.

* P.c.P takes the B.a.Dblade and cuts off his hands with a single swipe of the blade. *

Wal-Mart Handless Store Manager: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Talk.

Wal-Mart Handless Store Manager: I don't know anything about the business or any plan to destroy the Canadian economy! No store manager does! No store manager knows anything! The only one who would know that would be the head of the Wal-Mart Canada division! He's in Toronto! His name is Mills!

He knows nothing.

He knows less than anyone we've ever spoken to. Head for Toronto. After this, they'll know we're coming so we'll have to split up. I'll B.a.Dfax Mizzle and let him know where we're going. If you get there first, do not approach the Wal-Mart Canada headquarters. Do you hear me? If you find Mills, you B.a.Dradio me. You don't take him down alone. You understand?

Whatever, jerk. I hope I find him while his goons beat the shit out of you.

You think there'll be goons?

Yeah. Maybe.

Yeah? This is cool.

Whatever!


* Scene fades out to P.c.P slutting his way past the male security guard and gets onto the plane, and arriving in Toronto first. He goes looking for Mills, the head of Wal-Mart Canada division, and finds him running out of the office just as my plane lands, and of course, he doesn't radio me at all. Scene fades in on P.c.P confronting him in an alley. *

Hold it right there, Mills! I hope you have some free time! We have a lot to talk about!

Mills: Ah, if it isn't P.c.P. We've been expecting you since you assulted that store manager. I assume B.a.D can't be far behind.

Whatever, man. Screw B.a.D. I'm going to take you down myself. Don't you try to get away!

Mills: Don't worry, I'm not going to go anywhere. I can't say the same for you, though.

* P.c.P turns around. Several hundred very elderly Wal-Mart greeters are behind him in motorized wheelchairs. *

Wal-Mart Greeters: (in unicin) Welcome to Wal-Mart. All are welcome... allllll arrrreee welllllcommmmeee...

Gay.

* The world's slowest high-speed chase ensues, and scene fades out as P.c.P is eventually overtaken and captured. *


* Scene fades in on B.a.D and P.c.P tied to a lightning tower in Toronto.*


* End Scene *




B.a.D and P.c.P have been captured and strapped atop a lighting tower atop a Wal-Mart in Toronto...

Will they be able to survive?

Stay tuned...