B.a.Dops: Wal-Mart - Part Uno

Whaaaaat, you thought I was gonna postpone it for someone who trashes me on the comment board without telling me who they are? I actually thought it was someone I knew, but they obviously don't know word one about what I do, and obviously the mouth is not connected to the brain anyways, so no worries.

Enough wasted time. Here it is. S5 (Season 5) Finale. Five-parter.

Brought to you by my intense dislike for Wal-Mart.

So here we go. Story time.


* Begin Scene *


* B.a.D, P.c.P and Mizzle are all assembled in the B.a.Dcave. B.a.D explains the situation, and that if Wal-Mart is not taken out soon, it will surely be the end of the Canadian Economy as we know it. I tell them of a plan to destroy all Wal-Marts through a secret covert B.a.Dops. *

Isn't there any way to resolve this peacefully?

Shut your smelly bonghole, hippie. B.a.D's right, this is the only way.

... pretty sure a simple "no" would have sufficed instead of calling my mouth a "smelly bonghole", no?

It's true, P.c.P. They've spread overseas to Japan now. That's where all the cool stuff comes from, and I'll be damned if the last half of my videogame instruction books are written in Japanese.

First of all, that statement makes zero sense. How would Wal-Mart being in Japan make your video game instruction books... You know what? It's just easier to call you guys stupid. All right. Fine. I'm in. Whatever. But he still didn't have to...

Here's how this is going to work.

* B.a.D lays out his plan. *

Solid plan. Nicely done. When do we leave?

Mizzle, you're staying here.

What? Why?

Because P.c.P doesn't know how to operate anything in the B.a.Dcave. The B.a.Dphone. The B.a.Dmicrowave. The B.a.Dseptictank. The B.a.Dfax. All useless in his hands. I need you here. If we need you, we'll B.a.Dfax you.

Statement. I know how to work all that stuff. Question. Why do we have to say "B.a.D" in front of all our stuff?

Quiet, B.a.DP.c.P. Just try not to get B.a.D killed.

There's another reason, too. I've got a friend who used to work for Wal-Mart coming to the cave. She'll help you co-ordinate from here, Mizzle, so you can be our support.

Does she have big who-who's?

She's probably better looking than the whores you date.

Don't call my escorts whores.

Whatever. I'll be in the car.

Huh?

The what now?

The car.

Huh?

The what now?

Arrrrrrrgh. The B.a.Dcar! Idiots! I hate this place!

* P.c.P heads to the car. *

Keep things together 'till I get back.

... manly embrace?

Manly embrace.

* Mizzle and I share a manly embrace, as P.c.P re-enters the room. *

Wow, I didn't realize the parade was in town. Look at this little love in right here. Hey fag #1, you ready to let go of fag #2's balls and go do this retarded thing already, or do you need a few minutes?

Get in the B.a.Dcar!!!

Whatever!


* End Scene *




Will the B.a.Dcrew be able to stop Wal-Mart before it's too late?

Stay tuned for Part 2...