B.a.D S6 Finale: Descent (Part 1 of 3)

* Begin Scene *


* Scene opens. The B.a.Dcrew is in the B.a.Dcave’s Situation Room. *

… but since G.g.B was killed in the Wal-Mart B.a.Dop, somehow they’re still maintaining the illusion that he’s the President. Most likely a body double, but he looks, sounds, and most importantly, acts just like the real Bush. We need to find out who he is, and make sure we can keep him in check until 2008 when a new President is elected.

Makes sense. Who’s going to do what?

Katastrophe is going to head to The White House and see if she can charm the info out of some higher-ups.

She’ll have to be careful. The U.S. is pretty brutal to any spies that they find out.

How rough?

* to P.c.P* Torture is basically legal now. You will not believe the way they’ll tear into her. Worse than the roughest gay porno you ever had to do to pay off your gambling losses at the Bellagio.

* laughs nervously * Ha ha ha… what?

Yeah. You’ve got quite the back story, don’t you?

Mizzle, you and I will head to Washington too for distance backup in case she needs it. P.c.P will stay here to be our intel support. We’ll leave as soon as Katastrophe is done changing into the outfit she’ll be wearing to charm the higher-ups.

* from inside change room* … dude, there is no way I am wearing this.

*She walks out in Pamela Anderson’s leather outfit from Barb Wire.*

You look great!

I look so slutty it’s stupid. It’s overkill.

If by “stupid”, you mean “beautiful”, then yes, you do look stupid.

Hell, you look downright retarded!

Well, for once your plan doesn’t sound completely ridonkulous. I don’t want to just stay at the cave and be intel support! Katastrophe, can I come with you and be your bodyguard or something, in case you get into trouble and B.a.D and Mizzle can’t get there in time?

Let’s see, how do I hang an air freshener on this… uhhhh, oh, here we go. You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you. *sniffs air* Ahhh… mountain pine.

That’s enough. P.c.P, you can come next time. Katastrophe had to stay behind for the Wal-Mart B.a.D-op. This time it’s your turn. Let’s go, everyone.

* B.a.D and Mizzle head out the door. While Katastrophe has her back turned, P.c.P sneaks into her suitcase and Katastrophe picks it up before she follows B.a.D and Mizzle out of the B.a.Dcave. Fade out. *



* Fade into Mizzle and B.a.D on a hill overlooking the White House with all their surveillance equipment. *

Anything on the G.g.B double yet?

So far, all we’ve ascertained from our new spy satellite is that he’s not on the roof. Dammit!

Ha ha ha… well, let’s radio back to the B.a.Dcave and see if P.c.P has anything.

I’m sorry… did you just laugh at the fact that the new spy satellite is useless?

Yeah. No worries, man. We’ll find him. We always do.

Uh… yeah. You know, this isn’t a toothbrush where you go “oh, darn, I don’t like this toothbrush but I can’t return it because I’ve used it. Ha ha ha, good thing it’s not a big deal because they’re so cheap and I can buy them everywhere.” This is not a toothbrush. This is not a toothbrush at all.

No, I know, I was just…

This cost me eight-hundred and fifty-three thousand dollars. Don’t ask me how I got it. I had to call in all sorts of favors from people I’ve never even met. I had to go to the black market and deal with all sorts of shady people, so the least you could do is… I don’t know. Whatever. Radio the B.a.Dcave.

Geez, did you get a free vagina with that satellite or something? *picks up radio* P.c.P, are you there?

* No response *

Hey. Rimjob. You better not be in my room!

* No response. *

No response? That’s weird.

* B.a.D turns his head for a moment, and thinks. Then comes to a realization. His eyes go wide. *

Ohhhh no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

* Fade out to Mizzle having the same realization, his eyes going wide as well. *



* Fade into a hotel room in Washington. Katastrophe is about to unpack her suitcase. She opens the latch, and P.c.P jumps out. *

Surprise!

* Katastrophe has a blank, emotionless expression on her face. *


30 seconds later...

* P.c.P is on the ground. Katastrophe has a gun to his head. *

Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! You can't do this. It's not right! It's a wrong situation! I couldn't help it, it's my nature! Somebody hands me an angle, I play it! I don't deserve to die for that! Do you think I do?!?! This is not us! This is some hop dream! I'm praying to you! I can't die! I can't die out here in the woods!

What the hell are you talking about? We’re in a hotel room.

Oh, sorry. It's from my favorite movie, Miller's Crossing. Bravo, Joel and Ethan Coen. I mean, there are some proud parents, huh? Some nachas for the Coens?

* Giggles in spite of herself. * Oh, for facks sake. I guess I can’t stay mad at you. I’ve got to go and charm some sleazebags anyways.

Ooooh, shenanigans! Can I come? When I was on the Wal-Mart mission B.a.D had me cut off this guys hands and…

… uh, ooh, ooh, uh, I... I'm sorry... sorry to interrupt, but, uh, real quick, that’s the worst idea I've ever heard. Never gonna happen, but, please, keep going.

Can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come can I come?????

* Giggles again. * All right, all right, maybe it won’t be so bad… let’s go.

Giddyup!!!

* Katastrophe extends her hand to P.c.P and he takes it and they smile at each other... *

*… only seconds before a bullet explodes through the hotel room window and into P.c.P’s neck. P.c.P falls to the ground and Katastrophe catches him. *

Fuck!!!

* P.c.P takes his last breath and dies in Katastrophe’s arms as her eyes well up with tears. *


* End Scene *





P.c.P has died…

Killed by a merciless assailant…

Someone who knows the B.aDcrew is in Washington…

And another shock is coming…

Stay Tuned for Part 2 Of The Season 6 Finale…