Ask B.a.D: Wrestling is still homo-erotic... but this time with pictures!

Before anything else... Arrested Development is back as of last night, and I've already forgotten how I lived without it! And it's already been renewed for a 4th season it's rumored, so now I can stop trying to get people hooked on it and just let it be what it will be. A show that's way too smart and clever for 90% of the viewing audience out there. Fist yourselves, and go watch WB and continue living comatose. This is the best show on TV. Grab the box sets, get caught up, start watching, pack up the wagon and call the next of kin, 'cause you'll all be wondering how you watched TV before this.

On to Ask B.a.D. Sorry for not posting this last week. The instructor post could not be delayed. This will be worth the wait anyways.

You know what? I never praise my own work, but this is easily on of the best things I've ever done on here. This one's gonna be all wrestling, since I get more of those types of questions than any other. Lots of wrestling fans are on this site.

And if you don't like it, choke on it. We can talk about it down there.



Q: Whatever happened to Scott Steiner?

A: Well, he's old, crippled, slow, and was never really that much of a draw in the first place.

So expect to see her main-eventing a RAW PPV within the next year.

Ha! How glib!

Actually, I fully admit that Steiner's last run in WCW was a great success. He'd built himself up enough to look like a real monster, had put a bunch of main-eventers on the shelf, and was one of the longer-reigning world champions in the company's history.

But he was one of the very few good things about the company in the end. So they went out of business, Steiner got paid anyways and had a couple long-awaited surgeries.

Steiner used to be awesome on the ring and on the mic. The surgeries took away a lot of his good ring work. So by the time he got to WWE a couple years later, he was not near as good as he was in the ring. It's not really all his fault. Not all careers can go out on a high note, I guess.

One thing that was kinda funny was when he was wrestling in a WWE main event after his return, and he had so much rust that he only pulled off 2 moves over and over again in a 20 minute world title match. That match was f*cked beyond all recognition, not even HHH could save it. The crowd went batsh*it with "boring" chants. About 15 mins in, HHH ran at him and he put a foot up and HHH ran into it. He looked so pleased with that discovery. "Foot go up, man get hurt! That good!" He did it at least another 14 times in that match.

Although my favourite Steiner moment actually did happen in WWE. After an almost 2-year absense, he's on a PPV where they can't censor him, and the first words out of his mouth while working for his new employer...

"Gimme the f*ckin mic!"

Good times.



Q: Do you remember a wrestler called The Wall? I remember he was getting a pretty good push before WCW went under, do you know where he’s wrestling now?

A: Umm…

In heaven.

He’s dead.

Insensitive f*ck.

M.I.A. indeed.

P.c.P would like to wish The Wall the best of luck in his future endeavors.

Um...

... what?

Never mind.



Q: The WWE booking these days has just been horrible. Why won't WWE listen to the internet fans and let Shane McMahon write the TV instead of Stephanie McMahon, and let her do something else?

A: You idiot.

You don't know that Shane would be any better at writing TV than Stephanie. I hate the resistance to this concept. Consider that for years, Vince ran the wrestling side of things, and his wife Linda ran the business end of WWE. They showed both kids both sides of things. Shane decided he liked the business end. That's where his strengths lie. So that's where he is now.

Stephanie decided she liked the wrestling end. So that's what she does. I'm not saying she's the greatest at it, but you have no reason to assume Shane would be any better. They we're rasied in the wrestling business the exact same f*cking way. I'm not saying he
couldn't be any better, but what are you basing that argument on?

The fact that Shane can wrestle and Steph can't? That he can act better? That his voice isn't near as shrill and annoying?

Shane-O-Mac can do a really neat-o dropkick across the ring into a garbage can, so clearly he must write better TV than his sister. I shudder to think of the calibre of writing that RVD or AJ Styles must be capable of.

Maybe that's why WWE doesn't listen to the internet. Because none of the criticisms make any sense.



Q: I've watched CZW lately, and it's been getting a lot of hype. It's also really violent, and it pushes the bar in a lot of ways like ECW did back in the day. Do you think CZW could become the next ECW?

A: Maybe. I've heard the opinion before. What does remind me of ECW is the different styles of wrestling they have. I've only seen some highlight vids, and at first I saw some great technical stuff, a lot like TNA's X Division and a lot like ROH. Great stuff.

Then I saw a guy get dragged on his back through a ring full of 200 broken lighttubes. That's a bit much. I really should watch some more of it. They said "too far" about ECW too, so who knows. I'd need to watch more of it before I could really form a solid opinion.

"C-Z-Dub! C-Z-Dub! E-C-Dub! ... I mean C-Z-Dub! C-Z-Dub!"

Will it be known as ECW 2? We'll see. Time will tell. TNA, on the other hand, will be remembered as WCW 2. Which is a shame, because for the most part, that's completely unjustified.

Q: Bob Holly has legitimately hurt a lot of people, and he seems to be legitimately pissed off. What's his problem?

A: Funny story.

Some years ago Bob Holly left his wife of 10 years and his kids to be with a WWE Diva who was half his age. Two months later, she dumped him, quit WWE and was never heard from again. Holly went back home to reconcile with his wife, but by then she had already started seeing someone half his age.

It's the little things in life I find funny.

Like Bob Holly's worth to the wrestilng world.

He looks plenty f*cking jovial to me...

Q: I wrote you in your first question-answering post and asked you if you thought wrestling was homo-erotic. You said it was. Since you’re a fan yourself, and as far as I can tell, not gay, you can’t have meant that. You we’re joking, right?

A:

"It's not gay, it's a power move! Gawd..."

You tell me. Or tell yourself whatever you want.

Seriously, just because I said it’s homo-erotic does not mean you’re gay for watching it.

It was a stupid question then, it’s an even stupider question now. Quit writing me and go watch some wrestling.

Phobe.



Q: Will The Rock ever return to the ring?

A: The Rock can return to my ring anytime.

I'm totally gay for The Rock.

That’s it for today. Keep sending questions.

Phobes.

E-Mail: totallygayfortherock@hotmail.com