Ask B.a.D: And... exhale

Yes, another one. The "mixed reviews" can kiss my white ass.

Because let's face it, if I don't post, then Mizzle won't be able to argue with a bunch of comment-posters!

Me & Mizzle are apparently the only ones who showed up for Retail today. The teacher looks pissed.

However, I imagine the bulk of this post will be written in Vickers' (Turtle's) class. I have the next, and let me tell you, f*cking joy overwhelms me.

Someone tell Karine to stop smoking. Go spam her site with pictures of people who smoke for long periods of time. The last time I was with her for a mere 3 hours, and she sucked down cancer in it's cylander form at least 38 times. I was expecting her to squeal like a sucking pig being gutted and for blood to shoot out the nose before she collapsed. Yet, she still managed to continue to live.

Ooooh, did anybody see the Dud... Team 3D tell WWE to go f*ck themselves on the TNA website after the Saturday tapings went off the air? Nice. At this point, nothing could be better for WWE than competition, and nothing could be better for wrestling as a whole than another promotion war.

What? Oh yeah. Ask B.a.D. Choke on it.



Q: How do I enable cookies on my browser?

A: Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour.

While you're waiting, read the novel your computer company sent you.

It's a spanish story about a guy named "Manual".

What the f*ck do you think this is? You think I'm gonna go research your bulls*it tech support question?



Q: I know you don't like Friends, but why do you think Matthew Perry never got his own Friends spinoff like Matt LeBlanc did? I thought they we're equally talented. And do you think that if it had been done right, that Matt LeBlanc's spinoff could have been a hit instead of a flop?

A: Another Friends question?

This is unacceptable.

You are a bad person.

I really despair on you guys sometimes.

I really.

F*cking.

Despair.

Seriously.

All right. Here you go.

Deep breath now.

Matt LeBlanc's place was the first house that the dump truck full of money from NBC stoppped at. That's why.

F*ck that peacock.

Yeah. F*ck that peacock.

The reason it's failing is because everybody, including Matt Perry & NBC themselves, bought the hype that he could do it on his own, or do it again at all. But would it have worked if it we're "done right"? What a dumbass redneck stupid f*ck of a question. Of course it would have. Because then it would have been done right, jackass.

And you're right. Perry & LeBlanc are both equally talented, becuase they both suck. Suck like a toothless hooker in downtown Nelson BC. And coincidentally, they blow exactly as much as the rest of the cast of that show did. Which was a lot.

And while I'm in the middle of berating you, why in the world would you ask a Friends question to someone who you know hates Friends? Do you people see the level of intelligence I'm dealing with here?

And... exhale.



Q: I know you're from Calgary. Have you noticed there's been a lot more fags walking around the city lately, openly holding hands and s*it? What's the deal with that?

A: Oh, Jesus tapdancing Christ.

Somewhere in the world right now, a cross has just burst into flames.

To everyone reading this besides the person who asked this "question", I apologize in advance, because this is really going to require the verbal beating from hell.

Seriously. You might want to go get yourself a drink or something.

Deep breath now.

You stupid inbred hick-redneck tooth-missing son of your brother. You reinforce a negative cultural stereotype. You cement it. With stupid igornant "questions" like that. Then you wonder why people pin your kind down with generalizations, and call us the Texas of Canada? It's on you.

You, you, you, you, you.

It's your fault.

Shame on you.

Hey, thanks for writing!

And... exhale.

Any more annoying questions, and I'm gonna get the bends.



Q: What's up with P.c.P? He's been kinda dirt to you in the last couple posts.

A: Yeah, it's getting kinda irritating. It's like he thinks this is his turf now or something. He forgets that this is my Live Journal, he's just a guest, and...

... P.c.P would like to intervene on this question and state that clearly the LiveJournal is stronger with him on the lineup, and wish the question-asker the best of luck in his future endeavors.

... well, excuse me all to hell. See, this is the kinda s*it I'm talking about. I was in the middle of a sentance there.

When I want s*it from you, I'll squeeze your head. If I wanted to hear meaningless noise from a closet homosexual, I'd go make my dog bark.

I'll kick you in the shins.

I will pinch you so hard.

That's it, this Q & A is over.



Editor's Note: I'd just like to note for the record that my dog is actually not a closet homosexual. In fact, Sheldon is not even close to being in a closet. He openly humps (or attempts to hump until he gets his ass kicked) every male dog at the off-leash park. Just setting everyone straight (or otherwise) on that.

E-Mail: sheldonmayormaynotbegay@hotmail.com