Jab One

Ok well, I've been busy doing the things I do. Because of this, some people wonder if I'm still alive, others know I'm alive, others are afraid of what it is I'm coming up with while being incognito. Regardless, I'm here and I'm making a post and like a emo on E, I'm going to touch almost everthing I can. Ok that was a low blow, but still, have you seen those kids?

Emo: This little subculture is becoming mistakenly popular. It started out as a joke by a few humourous punk rockers who thought it was funny to dress overboard with 80's threads, unfortunately for us some people thought it was a trend worth riding out. Now you have to see these kids wearing pants that are 6 sizes to small and shirts that are at least 4 inches too short. Almost always dressed in layers built much like a cake. There's the clunky fake skater shoes that are too big thanks to the overstuffed tongue, followed by bright white knee high socks that are scrunched down around the ankle. Then some tightly packed black jeans with a hint of but crack at the top, followed by a white t-shirt, usually long enough to cover the crack, but sometimes we all have our bad days. Then a black hoody, short and tight, usually with some sort of a skull or a variation of patches. Then of course the hint of unisex hair sprinkled on top. Most of them can be seen eating food purchased only at a 24 hour gas station, however you wonder how they can eat like that and not gain a pound over 50 (dripping wet) meanwhile some of us try one of those devilish pre packed diarrhea inducing things and we feel 2 minutes short of death and pants 3 years short of fitting.

But lets move on.

Hockey Pools: I must look like a genius at the moment. But as always I'm trying not to let my cockyness get the best of me. I've been in first place in my yahoo hockey pool since day 2. Day 1 I didn't have anybody playing and unfortunatley that doesn't get you points. However I have some real diamonds on my team. Led of course by my favourite player Rick Nash. Yeah I said it, my favourite player isn't Iginla, in fact I've often considered him tradeworthy. Go ahead flames fans shoot me, I'm a huge flames fan, and must be their toughest critic at times. But I still think he's a great player for his style pre lockout. Now... nobody can live behind a power forward. Especially one who has as so little chemisty with other players. Go ahead, tell me him and Lemieux and Kariya played well together in 2002... of course they did. He was with Kariya and Lemieux... shit I bet even Corky Thatcher could have got a point with those linemates. But I digress, my players have all been stellar. Backed up by Marty Turco, one of the best in the league (after Marty B, and sometimes Kipper). Not to mention the Sedin sisters getting me point combos like Ken vs Ryu in Street Fighter. Among a bunch of others who, if I crammed in I'd need a new paragraph... maybe I'll talk about them later. And possibly you the reader could use these players and see why I think so in future pools. I have to add, this was a draft format so nobody can have the same players, and you're allowed to sign free agents if you release players on waivers, and trade amongst GM's.

A little to the right.

Snow is finally here, that means work picks up for me and sales become my livelyhood. No longer can I play 8 hours of uninterupted video games. I have to walk around with people from time to time. But it's worth the money. Believe me. I considered for about 2 hours this morning that it was time to join the car starter club and get my membership symbol of affiliation... yes that means get a car starter. Getting one for the gf as well so our cars can cuddle in the parking lot whilst they warm up... which reminds me, whenever it's snowy and crappy out, I like to personify things and imagine how badly they wish they could be me laying in a warm bed. Try it out, I promise you'll laugh for a bit and before you know it, you'll forget you even had a hint of insomnia. For those of you who are frisky, I suggest you not think of me before bed. And if you do, then I'm better then you can imagine...

And a little to the left.

Plan on going into the dentist soon. It's that time of year to get the old check up and cleaning. The place is more terrifying to me then Michael Jackson is to parents of little boys. But I must be strong as I am a grown man and someday my kids (who don't yet exist) will look to me for support when they take on the daunting task of attending the "terror tomb of evil devil death hate anger blood canyon Oprah hell hurt hole pain office".

And dosey do with your partner.

Star Wars is better then Star Wreck on so many levels. And since this has been something that has come and gone like a case of herpes I chose to let it resurface and this time with some substance like the time bad ate cheese for three weeks straight because he thought there'd be no better clean then running a plug through the middle. So anyway resurfacing as previously mentioned, hence the herpes reference (read: things you don't want to have).

I like Star Wars and B.a.D likes Star Treck, before this takes any further ground, we must both establish that we are losers for letting it get to this point. Then we must admit that we do like girls and that we do shower more then once a week, and we don't still have ninja turtle stickers on our bed frames. Thus meaning we are older mature geeks who love their stuff but know when to put on the mature face.

Spin them round.

Where to start nobody knows, me being a part of the nobody until now, I'll start with a minor jab. The video game world. Star Wars has made millions upon millions upon millions, in fact, lets try making up a word for this... billions... there we go. Star wars has made "billions" in the video game industry. There is games that are strategy, first person shooter, and adventure. Among others. But what does Star Wreck have? Well there was this shitty one they released about 10 years ago that was about as much fun to play as it was wearing out the cd-rom drive switching disks so it could load the next scene that would prompt you to load another disc. Ok ok ok, You want me to answer to the billions. It might not be billions, but it has to be more then $60 because that's what I forfeited to them last week for Star Wars Lego I and II. Both of which are a kick ass game. Yes they're simple, upon first inspection, until you realize there's so much more beneath the surface. Just like Kashykk. You see trees, but you don't see the army of wookies. Regardless they got more then $60.

Next up. The wonderful gang in Star Wars has a main ship, like Star Trek, however, the story doesn't evolve around, and only be filmed on this ship. It's just a few scenes in a couple of the movies. There's so much more depth. There's planets I can talk about, that you didn't even know had been dreamt up. In Star Trek, they visit earth... I wonder where they came up with that. Or they put Asian people with Green Make up as enemies... I could go on. But lets try actaully developing friends and foes who are completey different then humans with layers of make up made to resemble a spine for a nose, lets try giving him an entire suit and lets hang tribal things off of him from time to time and give him a home planet that we actually visit, and lets give him an entire movie in itself of his past life and the life of his ancestors in their struggle to maintain a top rank as a species. Or we could just bump into these neanderthals from episode to episode in a ship that could kick our ass at any time but choses not to because we spent to long with the ambiguously gay medics son who wants to run one of those cardboard cut out panels that can do more then Martha Stewart with a pipe cleaner. Lets talk about his struggles growing up on the ship and not spending enough time in the showers at the academy where he can find out who he really is... This is so symbolic of their struggling story line. If they could just get the creativity to get off the ship for more then a booty call, they'd be able to have the ability to get people to line up for days just to watch 2 hours of their latest 'A' material. Not to mention they could even charge people at all to watch it, as opposed to putting it on tv for free... In fact, if they were really good. They could have created it and released it in the 70's only to "remaster" it at least 15 times to date each of those re-releases getting #1 for several weeks in a row, thus meaning more money then even trump could shake a stick at, and believe me, Trump could shake a mean stick.

So lets leave it at that. Go on B.a.D flame away, bring up things that you wish were true, and pull my personal beliefs into the spot light so it would seem as if my character is more in question then the honest truth of which is more succesful nevermind better written. Keep in mind, of course, people pay money to see this stuff. Not watch it die a slow and lonely death on late night tv built around a basement bachelors tv life.

All in good fun of course, we're still brothers from different mothers.

Mizbi wan kenobi