Wutchu talking 'bout Raimi?

Well all, didja miss me?

I’M BACK!!!

At least - until my next unannounced disappearance that is anyways.

It’s incredible how busy a new puppy keeps one isn’t it? Definitely underestimated how much work the little ankle biter is! He’s cute – and keeping us very entertained, but oh god he’s a hell of a lot of work!

Haven’t been up to much lately – but I figured as most of the movies I listed in a previous post (See January 10^th) have come and gone – I wanted to give some short reviews… not to mention one lately really did piss me off beyond belief (any guesses which one folks?).

For those too lazy to recall which movies I said I was excited for; we had Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Shrek 3, Alien vs. Predator 2, Ghost Rider, Grindhouse, and the Frank Miller carnage-fest that is 300. Obviously I can’t say anything about ALL of these (see Shrek3/Pirates3/AVP2), but I’ll write about what I’ve seen..

Ghost Rider

Not bad, not great… Eva Mendes was hot as hell (as usual), and Nicolas Cage was good (holy shit he’s in GREAT shape). It was a fun movie – nothing to really complain about. Wasn’t the best movie of all time, but still well worth the $30 movie trip.

300

SAWEEEEET!!! This film was absolutely beyond cool. I really did love every minute of it. It was a great adaptation of the book (for those interested, just search Frank Miller 300 on amazon and purchase – it IS a comic book… don’t just shaft it because of that though…) It’s an interesting read – and a great movie. There WERE some negative reviews though, saying that it’s not historically accurate…. Bugger that shite, it’s not SUPPOSED TO BE! It’s based on a graphic novel, which is based on a movie, which is based on actual historical texts… give the goddamned movie a break and take it for what it was, a FUN ACTION MOVIE! I heard people on the way out of the theater complaining that there was no story and it was simply a 2 hour fight scene…. There WAS story – however it WAS embedded in a 2 hour fight scene… not your type of movie? Don’t go see it….

dumbasses…

Grindhouse

Holy fuck – BEST MOVIE! I can say this with all honesty – I don’t remember seeing a better movie in years – if anyone on the comment boards feels like challenging this – throwing movies out that they think were better – give it a shot, I’m confident Grindhouse beats ‘em all! Now – this COULD be argued that this is actually two movies – true – Planet Terror (directed by Robert Rodriguez) and DeathProof (Quentin Tarintino). Nevertheless – this is still an amazing feature, every last bit was thought out here, from the films themselves, to the fake (although ONE REAL) trailers it was pure movie gold. Planet Terror serves up the 60’s zombie B-Movie glory that really has to be seen to be appreciated. Death Proof at first doesn’t come off as fantastic – until you realize that 100% of the stunts and accidents were ACTUALLY DONE! There was no CGI – there were no green-screens, there was only a woman on the hood of a car going 90mph and only a wire around her belt holding her down! The trailers? Whoa… that was cool…. Who would come up with Werewolf Women of the SS? Who else but Mr. Rob Zombie? And ‘Thanksgiving’? cool parade of Halloween … now for the REAL trailer? MACHETE! Mr. Rodriguez shot enough footage for the trailer – he’s decided to make this one REAL, it’ll be released with the DVD as an extra movie!

People complaining that it’s 3 ½ hours, well, yeah – it’s long…. But the g/f and I saw it on our way to pick up Brutus – in Westlock. After driving 3 hours to Edmonton, we then sat in a theater for 3 ½ hours to watch the movie – and then drive another hour to get Brutus! I can still say it didn’t feel long to me… although I had to pee all the way through Death Proof….

And now to one of the most anticipated….

Spiderman 3

What the fuck was this crapfest?

Ok – it wasn’t THAT bad – but seriously? What was Sam Raimi thinking? This was definitely the worst movie of the three Spiderman movies. I had hoped that they would continue – and maybe do 4 or 5 films… now I really hope that it’s just OVER.

So many issues – From Peter Parker and his “bad-ass” faggy emo haircut and dancing– to Harry Osborne’s half retarded half married my own sister AND mother redneck smirk through the whole thing…. It was a gong-fest. Venom looked great – until he talked, then it was garbage his mouth was just terrible, and there was no hiding it. I must admit – the CGI was pretty good, although there were a few slap in the face bad CGI moments (I particularly remember a scene with Spiderman getting knocked down that was just awful). Sandman’s CGI was VERY well done, however the entire character and potential for him was lost when he was simply thrown in with no development and a very poor “I’m sorry I killed Uncle Ben – it’s okay I forgive you” at the end of the movie. New Goblin/GoblinII/Goblin JR. whatever you call him – he was good. I can honestly say that he was the saving grace in this movie. As long has Harry was wearing that mask – and we couldn’t see his dumb ass smile – he made the film. Bruce Campbell? I don’t want to give anything away that I haven’t already – but he’s hilarious!

Just for those who haven't seen; the retarded smile below:

These weren't the only faults for the movie really, there really was no character development for the Stacey's (Gwen and Captain) or anyone else, the butler knows about Harry and Papa Gobby and even saw the death? There were way too many WTF moments for anybody to take this movie seriously.

I definitely wasn't the only one in the theater who liked this either. When leaving a good movie (or even watching people leave a good movie you didn't see) you KNOW it was good. All you can hear is people talking about their favorite parts, characters etc. For this movie? everyone filed out silently to their cars to cry themselves to sleep. In-fact, now that I think about it, I should've realized when the showtime ahead of ours (2:00 Saturday) was doing the exact same thing, I didn't hear ANYBODY talking at all while leaving this film.

Overall – this movie was a HUGE let-down. It was decent enough I suppose, somewhat watchable, and Mr. Campbell ruled. But really – it failed in everything it attempts, it was not stimulating, entertaining, or rewarding. I would have been much happier with this movie if I had rented it, didn’t wait an hour in line to get good seats, and didn’t have to pay $25 to see the movie.

GRADES:

Ghost Rider: B-
300: A
Grindhouse: A+ with five gold stars and a cherry on top!
Spiderman 3: movie: D-; nachos: A (Thanks to the concession girl who loaded on the jalapenos!)

Movie reviews still to come?

Pirates of the Caribbean 3 – trailers are making this one look like an awesome fun rum drunken romp through world’s end!

Shrek 3 (though, as mentioned before – too many children in this one, probably wait for the DVD)

AVP2 – it’s iffy… but the Brothers Strause are hopefully going to do this one right, so far it’s looking up (It’ll be tough for this one to be worse than Spiderman 3).

Simpsons! - this kindof scares me though, I remember hearing years ago that when they did a movie, that would be the END of the series….. I guess there’s always syndication right?

Well - I suppose that's it for now, this ended up being a longer post [read: rant] than I intended, but I guess that's making up for my disappearance right?

If anybody has some ideas for a new B-Rush post - lemme know in the comments!