The B.@.Dsessions II: Women

I've enjoyed the comments over the last post I did! Hope this isn't stepping on your toes, B-Rush.

Looking back over the time I've known B.@.D he's gone through a lot of changes. He's made a lot of choices. Lots of those choices have been about girls.

I've only known him about a year. Throughout the times we discussed our pasts with each other, the last few years have been no different.

"A lot of times I feel like I'm the only one with this much drama in my life." B.@.D says to me, before he adds, "I'm speaking about everything. Work. Women. Friends. Whatever else. Obviously that's not true. There are some with less, but probably a lot more with just as much if not more. The problem is that because it all happens to me, it seems like more than the average person. If I watch drama happen to someone it only happens as long as I'm around them or hearing about it. When it's me, I have no way of escaping it."

When B.@.D first became single at the end of last year, he was faced with his first real single time in years. After Kacey, who he was with for 3 and a half years, he was involved with someone else in a complicated situation, and then Aleta came along. They dated for a year. After she left, B.@.D knew that he was now single. He resolved to stay that way for at least half a year.

So what did he do? He got over what he needed to get over, in a relatively short period of time, he hit the gym, twice a day for a long time, and got in shape.

Then he became single. "Extremely single", as he put it."I hadn't been single near enough time through my adult life. Getting in shape was a way to ensure that I'd get more enjoyment out of it."

So how was his first real time being single at 25 years old?

"Fun. Confusing at times, but fun." He says.

Why was it confusing?

He replies that he didn't, or doesn't, know the rules. If you go out with a girl once, is it OK to go out with someone else? What about if you've been out a few times, no lables, is it still OK to go out with someone else? These are rules that he says are difficult because different people have different rules. So how does he cope?

He finds his own set of rules and plays by those. And he makes sure that even though he doesn't lie to anyone or cheat on anyone, that he plays by those rules."That's what took me a while to figure out. Make sure the other person knows how you play and are OK with it."

B.@.D is someone who believes that he can't alter his belief structure to fit whoever he's with. That would be mutually exlusive. He is someone who believes he is doing the right thing. Women are just one example of this. But he has enough confidence in himself to believe that what he's doing is right. And he's only recently discovered this. Not too many people, whether they admit it or not, have that.

So what about love? Does B.@.D believe in love? How many times has he been in love?

"Only one real time. Love is something everyone is looking for. I'll find it, and I'm not worried. I'm always looking, even when I'm not. Until I find it, there's nothing I believe that says I shouldn't look and have fun doing it."

J@de