Simple Plans

$1600 on my car in the last 2 months, which includes a full inspection yesterday. I hadn't driven it for 15 minutes before the "Service Engine Soon" light came on. Are you f*cking kidding me? I mean, I enjoy being a crabby young man and everything, but this is really pushing it.

I digress.

Sometimes the easiest, stupidest things in the world are the things that make you the happiest. Anyone who knows me, or read my Thanksgiving rant, knows that I don't really eat any meat except the occasional beef, and that I'm just an all around picky eater. Needless to say, this makes me a nuiscanse at holiday dinners with the turkey and ham, etc.

Know how I handle that? Here's my X-mas dinner tradition. I roll down to 7-11 and get 2 hot dogs with nacho cheese, a slurpee and a bag of chips for dinner, and I'm happy as a clam. I do this every year, the only time I ever eat 7-11 hot dogs is on Christmas day. This year, however, I ran into a slight problem.

For those who don't know, the nacho cheese at 7-11 comes out of a machine. Unfortunately, after covering my first hot dog with it, there was none left. I was about to walk out with my head hanging, but then I realized that there was an addition onto the machine. The same machine that dispenses the (plastic) nacho cheese, now dispenses chili. The same machine. What an age we live in.

Absolutely delicious. I do get my share of static from some people for this ritual, but look at it this way. You spend an entire holiday cooking, whereas my ritual only takes as long as getting to 7-11 and back, so all of you can help yourselves to a slice of my ass with all the trimmings.

No WMD's in Iraq! Phew, am I relieved. Who could have called that one? Oh right, I did. (God, I'm an asshole.)

B.A.D

Song Of The Day: Nonpoint- In The Air Tonight

Quote Of The Day: "If my Dad wasn't a lawyer, I could have never pulled off ECW. I got sued more times than Martha Stewart."
- Paul Heyman