HELL-O!

SITUATION A
So I met this girl Kendra. We went out for drinks about a couple weeks ago. About a week later we hung out again, and I decided this girl wasn't for me. I'm not going to slam her or anything because she was very nice and very personable. Just wasn't for me.

I told her this much, and she seemed to understand. However, she continued to text and call relentlessly. I decided she needed further clarification so I called her again and explained. This time it had come through loud and clear, or so I had hoped.

A few HOURS later I received a text message:
"I just need to know one thing, and please be honest. Is there another girl involved?

Sigh.
My response:
"No."
(Editors Note: There really wasn't.)


SITUATION B (unrelated)
I have been on vacation for the past week, and it's been great. I've been spending lots of time in the gym, and relaxing. The other day, Phaedra suggested that we hang out, have something to eat and drink, and then go see 30 Days Of Night. Now, those of you who have heard me speak about or know Phaedra personally know that it's usually a barn-burner whenever we hang out. Usually there's plenty of drinking (I have several strenuous liver-stretching exercises that are performed rigorously on the day-of) and a whole lot of juvenille fun.

I love Phaedra to peices. She's a great friend and no matter what is going on with me always wants to go out and have fun and forget about whatever else is going on.

So I pick Phaed up on Tuesday and we start looking for a place to start. She suggested Moxies and I said yes.

Bad move. Guess who works as a waitress at Moxies? A fact that I actually KNEW but didn't REMEMBER?


SITUATION AB (very related)
Walk into Moxies. A familiar voice:
"Hey!"

Turn around. Kendra is standing there, but she is not looking at me, she is looking at Phaedra. Not friendly-like either.

Now, I'm an understanding individual. I can understand what me and Phaedra walking into Moxies together a week after telling this girl that I didn't want to see anyone (anyone like her) and two hours after telling her there wasn't another girl involved probably looked like.

However, Phaed and I aren't like that. Never have been.

So I calmly explained and introduced:
"Hey, Kendra. This is my FRIEND Phaedra."

She proceeds to coldly shake Phaedra's hand and make some very tense small talk. I decide that maybe we should sit and get some bandages for Phaedra's eye due to the imaginary daggers being shot from Kendra's mind.

So I sit down. And I sigh. Phaedra, of course, is loving this, and made fun of me most of the night for not remembering that the girl I was seeing less than a week ago worked there and came here without a passing thought.

A few minutes later I see her talking to another waitress. She is kind of looking at me angrily while doing it, clearly explaining to the other waitress what an apparent asshole I am.

Then, THIS waitress that she was talking to comes over to take our order. Me and Phaed kind of stare at each other, because we both now can't envision a scenario where we are actually going to be able to enjoy this food.

I figure if I'm UBER nice to this waitress, I might be able to order something sans the saliva. So I start to make small talk and introduce my FRIEND Phaedra to waitress #2. I actually thought that it was going quite well and that I wouldn't have to order the phlegm penne, but right after we order our food...

Phaedra: ... and we both have keen eyes for spit, sooooo... yeah, you know what I'm saying.
* hands menu back to waitress, who smiles and walks away *

... yeah, that was a tough meal to enjoy.



And for those wondering, we drank to avoid the fact that we we're scared of our food, then we staggered into the theatre for 30 Days Of Night, both passed out before the end of the opening credits, woke up 2 hours later not knowing anything except the fact that Josh Hartnett was still alive. I was fine by that point so we left before the movie was over.

If a movie isn't exciting enough to prevent me passing out in an uncomfortable movie chair, I can't recommend it.

God Bless!
B.@.D

19 comments:

B-Rush said...

DUDE! I feel your opinion of 30 Days of Night is a little off kilter.... you were ASLEEP! That was seriously one of the best movies of the summer.

I officially dis-own the B@Dman as a friend should he not make a public apology directed towards those involved in the making of 30DON.

Anonymous said...

the summer? its halloween........

Anonymous said...

In the words of Homer Simpson...

"ASLEEP?!?! I wasn't asleep! I was DRUNK!!!"

B-Rush said...

*thinks*

ok - granted - it's FALL, boo hoo. Still WAY better than Spiderman 3!

Anonymous said...

hahahahhahahaha GP bad..... funny

Anonymous said...

ahhahahaa keen eye for spit...

Anonymous said...

GP BAD!

Anonymous said...

hahahahhaa GP buddy

how is the finale coming along?

Anonymous said...

GP NAD!

Anonymous said...

gp bad

Anonymous said...

gp bad! loving hte last season so far!!!!!

Anonymous said...

gp!

Anonymous said...

gp bad!

Anonymous said...

GP BAD!
wonderful line from your friend phaedra

Anonymous said...

gp bad!!!

Anonymous said...

BYE JADE (for the post above)

Anonymous said...

jade i enjoyed your posts. thanks again1!!

Anonymous said...

no posts in a week?

Anonymous said...

so long jade!