Juiced

Before I get into your crap for the day while I wait for my car to warm up, I'd like to entertain you with a story from last night. Some whore who was probably in her late 20's or early 30's, who looked to be taking a break from working (and washing, shaving, brushing her teeth, waxing her upper lip, wearing clean clothes, owning a home and any form of gainful employment, by the looks of her) tried to tell me that the case of Ensure that she bought was no good. So she wanted a replacement. But she didn't bring any of it back, she threw it out when the first one is bad. Unbelieveable.

You threw out a f*cking flat of Ensure because one was bad, rather than, I dunno, trying another one or just bringing the case back? And surprise, surprise, she didn't have a receipt, didn't have a Co-op number so I could go look up the receipt, and didn't remember when she bought it. For once I was actually backed up by a manager saying no to this ballsy horses ass. It's nice to know there's one manager at my store with a decent sized set. Any other night or manager, this bitch would have walked away with two free cases of Ensure and a $10 Gift Certificate to replace the Ensure that she probably didn't buy, and if she did, probably wasn't bad.

Sorry. Tangent. Here's your column. Choke on it. Suck it down. Etc, etc, etc.

It's funny to me how I always see people who claim to be on steroids, who look like they've never been to the gym in their lives.

But on the flip side, according to the old front-end whores at work, I'm on all sorts of s*it. I'm 24 years old. I didn't start working out until I was 21. It's taken tons of hard work to get me to the point I am today, and I'm still not satisfied. I'm still maturing in my (home) gym, which is basically just free weights and a treadie.

I think my arms have progressed very nicely, but I still think the rest of me looks like s*it. I certainly don't think I look like I'm all jacked up on roids.

Sweet baby Hay-Zeus, could you imagine if I was on the gas? I'd be a monster. And I don't mean physically. I mean I'd be even more hyper at work. Like I don't have enough energy when I'm there anyways from sitting around.

Focus son, focus.

You're right, for once. Holy s*it, am I rambling.

Anyways, the point is, I must not look half-bad if these old putzes are saying I'm on the juice. It's almost flattering, or inspiring in a way that they think I look good enough to be on this or that.

But as flattering as it is, my point remains the same.

Drug...

F*cking...

Free.

B.a.D